Blue Striker

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Fantasy: Happiness is Quite Hard to Reach

I did not expect that I will meet someone from Ilo-Ilo who will let me experience something new and but good... I never thought that I will have this experience in my life...

I fell in love with a person who I think can understand me, laugh with me, cry with me, comfort me, catch me, be my shoulder, and be more than my girlfriend... Well, I broke up with my girl for her... just for her...

After considering the possible problems that may arise due to this forbidden love, I broke up with the person... I told this person that I still love my girl and that I can't leave her hanging in the air...

But then I was wrong... I did not come back to my girl... I did not ask her to be back either... I judged wrong.. Now, I think the person who made me fell into a new kind of love does not want to back to me anymore...

Ngayon, natatakot siya na iwan ko lang siya ulit though now I am sincere with my thoughts... Despite all odds... Kait alam kong maraming aayaw... kahit alam kong madaming bawal...

I guess happiness is hard to reach...

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

SGV... Now at hand

Well, nasa sgv na ako... im currently on my 5th and a half month... by the 6th of May, I may still be with the Company or I have moved to another... depende kung mareregular o hindi... sana maregular... Waehehe... I had special experiences with the Company... Syempre, I learned much in audit... Well, its ups and downs... I knew how hard it is to join anaudit company... walang tulugan... walang social life... (though i did not let myself lose such part of me)... and higit sa lahat, i became Amy's boyfriend...

Masaya sa company kahit mahirap.. sobrang hirap.. syempre kasi andyan mga ofismates ko na pasaway... tulad ko...

Nga pala... Im the top performer during our training... hehehe.... bibo daw kasi ako... binoto tuloy ako ng mga traning mates ko... At least, kahit hindi ako cum laude, I was able to prove that I can win a game... hehehe... Tapos ang group namin (Ako lang ang lalaki with Michelle, Avril, Arbhe, Grace, and Erika)... saya namin... mga girls ang pussy cat dolls tapos ako si Daddy J... hahaha... creative kasi sila...

Sa ofis naman, ang mga kasama ko ay sina Michelle, Ramil, Christopher, Vincent, Rose Anne, Fidelis, at Jessie...

Si Jessie ang pinakauna sa amin... 2005 graduate siya kaso di siya agad pumasok sa sgv kaya halos magkasunod lang kami... actually 2 mos ahead siya sa akin... galing siyang ibang auditing firm... mabait siya at kwela din... pasaway din siya... palakihan kami tiyan... wahehehe...

Si lyza naman ang inconsistent na auditor... hehehe... yun ang tukso ko sa kanya kasi sobrang pabago-bago ang isip niya... she decides today and changes her decision the next hour or day... pero magaling siya... although minsan nawawalan ng self confidence.. Matapang na suplada pero matatakutin... wehehehe...

Si Christopher... Ang aking katukayo sa ofis... lagi kaming nagaaway... (hindi away na away talaga ah) kundi tuksuhan... Sabi nya nga sa akin, ako na daw ang pinakamalapit sa kanya sa opis... kasi kami lang ang nakakaasaran ng sobra... minsan beyond limits na pero la lang sa amin yun... hehehe... parang di officemates... kasi magkaibigan kami... saka alam namin na hanggang ganunan lang yun... wlang personalan... lagi kami nagsasayaw... tapos siya nagmomodel ng patawa... kami rin yung lagi nagtatawanan sa sarili namin pati sa ibang tao... kapag inaaway kami... hehehe... magaling yun lalo na sa analysis... minsan inaaway nami yung officemate namin sa asaran kapag kami lang ang magkasama sa audit... hehehe...

Si Vincent... Ang bata... kasi baby look ang tawag sa kanya sa ofis saka maaramdaman mong hindi pa siya ganung ka-mature pagdating sa work... minsan isip bata pa din though ako din naman eh ganun... haahha... sarap kasama si vincent... although minsan seryoso din... ako kasi lively... yaw ko ng malungkot ecept kapag may rush audit na gagawin... kumbaga cramming na... Nililigawan nya yung classmate ko nung 1st year college (Si PAZ)... Actually sila na nung high school... nagbreak lang ata sila bago magcollege... galing din yung si vincent... cum laude yun...

Si rose ann... sabay kami kumain ng breakfast kapag nagoovernight ako sa ofis... hehehe... Kasi kami lagi ang mahilig kumain... share kami sa fud ko or fud niya... or minsan sa fud ng iba pa naming kasama... hehehe... minsan niloloko siya kasi lakas siyang kumain... siya 2 rice.. ako 1 lang... pero sexy tawag namin sa kanya... hehehe

Si Ramil... wla lang... Sobrang tahimik... Summa Cum laude siya... Di nakikipagbond sa mga new staff kaya tawag ko sa kanya minsan eh senior na... or in-charge... naipadala na siya sa kenya for audit... sayang sana ako din... pero di naman kasi namin client yun eh... nakakalaban ko siya sa mga contests dati... la ako masabi sa kanya eh excep siya ang pinakamayaman sa amin pag payday kasi malaki sweldo nya coz summa siya...

Si Michelle... kala ko nung una, cool siya... pero di din pala maxado... kasi tahimik siya at sobrang seryoso... Inaway nya pa ako dati nung nagjoke ako dati sa kanya... magna cum laude siya... minsan niloloko namin siya ni Chris... kasi nayayabangan kami sa kanya minsan... Boastful shrimp tawag namin sa kanya o kaya ang famous "basic na basic Php 6,400.00 lang ang sweldo" na line ang tukso namin... hehehe... Kasi malaki sweldo niya compared sa amin dahil nga magna siya...

Sayang, kung naging cum laude lang ako eh di sana malaki din ang sweldo ko... huhuhu... ayos lang yun kasi for sure naman, pag umalis ako ng sgv, i can get a better and more compensating na job...

Nga pala, lapit na ako umalis sa company... kasi nahihirapan na ako at hindi ako makaipon.... practicality ksai ang gusto ko munang unahin ngayon... syempre kailangang makatulong sa pamilya...

Ayun... till next blog...

SGV... Now at hand

Saturday, December 23, 2006

SGV Dream...

When I as a child, I dreamt of becoming an astronaut... Well, I guess every boy would dream of becoming one after seeing sci-fi movies which usually is the subject of most cartoons and 'for children' movies...

After two years (in grade six), I realized that to be an astronaut would just be a dream... And I have to shift to one which is more realizable / attainable... Than I wanted to be a pilot... I like to travel... I like to go places and see beautiful things... I don't want to confine my heart to just one place... I like to experience adventure... to get new things others don't see... Then, once again, I realized that I can't be one... Considering practicality, I thought that it would not be within our living and support capacity...

So I decided to be a doctor... I want to help those in need... I want to save lives... I want to be of service to mankind... (Its so righteous...) I thought that to be a doctor is a fulfillment of my dream to be one who will be remembered by everybody... Not just by my clan, nor the next family generations, but by the whole world... Then one day, I thought that it was not for me.

There is only an hour left before I have to pass my application form to the registrar of my alama mater - De La Salle University - Dasmariñas and I'm still confused with what to take. Then I decided to give my first choice to BS Accountancy, then second to BS Nursing, and thrid to Political Science. My high school assessments revealed though that I will excel with Communication Arts. But I did not choose the course because I thought that it could just help me as a hobby / interest and nothing more.

Now, I am a Certified Public Accountant and it feels great that with this profession I as able to make my family proud... I'm working at SGV and it took me 4 years to realize such goal... I got high scores in the board exams... I got good impressions from my seniors... I got everything... (Well, except the salary)... But its still okey... Its enough that I had all of these...

But suddenly I realized that I'm still not happy... I know the work... I think I like to be something different... I don't know if I had really reached my dream or I did not make it to my personal legend? When I read "The Alchemist", I suddenly realized that maybe this really is not what I want to... I want to travel, to be a chef... to be a doctor... I don't know... The only problem is how I would be able to know what my real dream is? Are there omens that will lead me to what I should become? I really don't know... Or will I still know?

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Am I Half Crazy?

Half Crazy - Johnny Gill

Know I havent slept a week at all since you've been gone

And my eyes are kinda tired from crying all night long

Know I've never been too good at cooking just for one

It's so lonely here without you darling come back home

'Cause I'm half crazy

Feelin' sorry for myself

Half crazy

Worried you'd find someone else to love

Know life hasnt been much fun at all since you've been gone

And my eyes being to feel each time I hear a sound

I spent every minute asking myself what went wrong

Can't we try to talk it over baby come back home

'Cause I'm half crazy

Feelin' sorry for myself

Half crazy

Worried you'd find someone else to love

But baby there is no-one else

Half crazy

For everything you saying

Half crazy

No one else could love you like I do

(break)

'Cause I'm half crazy

Feelin' sorry for myself

Half crazy

Worried you'd find someone else to love

But baby there is no-one else

Half crazy

For everything you saying

Half crazy

No one else could ever love you

No one else could ever be

Half crazy

Feeling sorry for myself

And I'm worried you'll find someone else

Feeling sorry for myselfHalf Crazy

(faded)

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Nagugluhan na ko

ok... alam ko na marami din akong kamalian sa buhay... alam ko rin na hindi ako perpektong tao... pero bakit naman ganun... lagi akong naiipit sa mga bagay na kailangan akong mag-give way sa iba... o kaya naman na ako ang maunang humingi ng sorry... i know that its the right thing to do... pero bakit lagi na lang...

anyway, galit sa akin si ChenG pero hindi ko alam kung bakit... siguro nalaman nya na yung tungkol kay lhen... hindi ko kasi sinabi sa kanya nung una kasi alam kong hindi dapat... pero sa palagay mo ay may nagsabi na sa kanya na hindi naman dapat magsabi...

Si jojo naman ay nagalit din pero dahil lang sa misunderstanding.. ewan ko ba

Si tin-tin naman ay naiinis din dahilsa isang bagay na ipinipilit nya na alam ko na hindi ko naman talaga alam...

Well, retreat na namin sa friday hanggang saturday... sana magkaayos-ayos na kami...

Thursday, September 15, 2005

I Say A Little Prayer for You

Say a little prayer for you,
Say a little prayer for you

From the moment mi wake up
Before mi put on mi make up
Mi say a little prayer for you

While combing mi hair now
Mi a wonder what dress me wear now
Mi say a little prayer for you

Forever and ever
You’ll stay in my heart and I’ll love you
Forever and ever
We never will part how I’ll love you
Together together
That’s how it should be
Without you would only be heartbreak for me

Mi run for the bus love
Mi ride and mi think about us love
Mi say a little prayer for you

At work mi just take time
And all through mi coffee break time
Mi say a little prayer for you

Forever and ever
You’ll stay in my heart and I’ll love you
Forever and ever
We never will part and I’ll love you
Together together
That’s how it should be
Without you would only be heartbreak for me

Say a little prayer for you, mi a go say
A little prayer for you

My darling believe me, for me
There is no one but you,
Say you’ll love me too.

Forever and ever
You’ll stay in my heart and I’ll love you
Forever and ever
We never will part and I’ll love you
Together together
That’s how it should be.....
Forever and ever
You’ll stay in my heart and I’ll love you
Forever and ever
We never will part and I’ll love you
Together together
That’s how it should be without you
Would only be heartbreak for me...

.......................................................................
Hmmm... The song is very beautiful... Isn't it... This is one of my favorite songs... Well, this version is by Diana King... Little as you know, I am a hopeless Romantic... I started lovin this song since the time I watched the movie My Bestfriend's Wedding... Medyo kasi nainlove ako sa movie though hindi maganda yung naging outcome ng lovelife ni Julia Roberts... I realized na love really is when you'er able to let go of your loved one so that she will be able to enjoy her life and go with the one she really love... Alam mo yun... Nakakaawa si Julia Roberts for she did not have his bestfriend... but even though, nakaktuwa naman kasi kung makikita mo yung ginawa nya dahil sa pagmamahal nya sa bestfriend nya... Minsan, i ask myself... kaya ko kaya yung ginawa nya... I mean, in my part... Can I let go... so that she may be happy? Can i sacrifice for love... Siguro oo... Like what others are doing...

Lam nyo... Try watchin' the movie... Its so beautiful... Its so lovely... Its so romantic and touching... Tinamaan talaga ako...

...............................................................................................

Ok... Another movie I watched was IF ONLY by Jennifer Love Hewitt... Maganda talaga... One of the best... I was inlove with the movie... This is another form of sacrifice for love... Ang nangyari kasi ay parang nagkaroon ng premoinition yung lalaki na yung gf nya ay maaaksidente... Tapos ayun... Panaginip lang pala pero yung mga nangyari sa panaginip eh nagkakatotoo... So ang ginawa nya eh triny nyang ilayo yung gf nya sa aksidente and yung time na alam nya ng mamamatay yung gf nya sa car accident eh ang ginawa nya na lang eh niyakap nya ang gf nya para siya ang mamatay... Out of love, he did it! What a sacrifice for love!!! Nakakaiyak/Nakakalungkot yung nangyari kasi somehow, perople will see it absurd to do all such things just for love... Pero sa ibang tao... kahit buhay nila itataya nila para sa taong mahal nila... Parang ako... Lahat gagawin ko para sa taong mahal ko... Kasi alam ko ding kung mawawala siya, eh parang nawala na rin ako...

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

FrEiNdZ FoReVeR

'''gRaDuAtIon SoNg'''
...FrIeNdS fOrEvEr...

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of the night in June
I Didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And There was me and you, and then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

Chorus:
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

*Repeat chorus*

La, la, la, la; yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la, we will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

*Repeat chorus 3x*

Nakakaiyak pala ang Huli

Hi guys!
We had our said to be last performance in college in the JPIA General Assembly... Nalungkot ako... Sobra... kasi we had this play which was directed by Tom... its a pooling of ideas from the whole class which syempre puro kalokohan na naman... We had our very own Imang (Fatima from Kampanerang Kuba), our own casts of superheroes, Darna portrayed by Piolo and Krystala protrayed by Tope... with matching costumes ha... And we also had the four sisters of Encantadia especially represented by Tim, Natz, Kris (with the prostitute like hair), and Jojo... Syempre, they all look bad kasi muscled guys tapos biglang nagdamit babae... But it brought laughter all throughout the play... I played Boy Abunda who is the judge in the courtroom while Jobel, Kristine, and Lourdez (i think) were the three sisters in Kampanerang Kuba... Lou Anne played as Veronica while Divine and Tristan played the roles of Valentina and Prinsipe Abok respectively... We used such characters and relate it with the present political crises we have... Zyrine played the role of PGMA who said I'm sorry for her unrewading acts and many more... I was very glad for all of my classmates participated in the activity... After the play, a powerpoint presentation was made and presented by Tom with matching song (Graduation Song by Vitamin C which implies friends forever)... It showed the development of the whole BSA / BSM graduating class batch 2005. Naiyak ako... Nakita nila yung devt ko from mataba pa ako until the time i got slimmer... kung pano yung laughter ng bawat isa... the company and memories we've shared... lahat talaga... ang ganda nga eh... Sana hindi kami magkahiwahiwalay na magkakaclassmates kasi mahal ko sila at i really feel good when im with my BSA / BSM 41 class... though syempre may mga misunderstandings... ganun naman talaga... its natural... right? hehe... I just hope that we'll all be friends forever...

TIME after TIME

TIME AFTER TIME

I'm lying in my bed
Hear the clock tickin
I think of you
Caught up in circles
Confusion, there's nothing new
Flashback, warm nights
Almost left behind
Suitcase of memories
Time after...
Sometimes you'll picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me
I can't hear what you say
And you say, go slow
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds
CHORUS:
If you're lost, you can look
And you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you
I will be waiting
Time after time
(repeat)
After my picture fades
And darkness has turned to gray
Watching through windows
You're wondering if I'm okay
Secret stolen
All from deep inside
The 808's on time
(CHORUS)
And you say, go slow
I fall behind
The 808's on time
(CHORUS)
(repeat)
Time after time...
(until fades)